文章一覽：How To Propose To Her (新回覆在最前面,最多列出 6 個) [列出所有回覆]
德吉千瀚
發表於： 2009/09/11 11:01pm
[這篇文章最後由德吉千瀚在 2009/09/11 11:03pm 第 2 次編輯]
<b> Message From Mars: How To Propose To Her
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<b>How should your girl's personality alter your proposal?</b><BR>
Why anyone would want to get married when divorce rates are hovering at the 50 per cent mark is beyond my mortal ken. You might as well toss a coin and if it's heads, you stay together, if it's tails you break up. If it lands on its side, you get to have a pizza party. The only potential cost of my system is deciding which of you gets the coin afterwards. Marriage, however, costs most of your arm and both legs, not to mention the cost of divorce, but still, people insist on taking this insane leap into the void, so we at The Soko have decided to spend a little time on the subject.
This week my colleague Sarah, who authors the gynocentric View From Venus, and I will be taking a look at the proposal, that most nerve-wracking of romantic ventures. If you are a lady who is looking to confront the changing gender roles of our society head on, go over to Sarah's column to get some helpful advice. If, however, you are a fellow who is looking to cement the authoritarian foothold that our gender currently maintains in the area of marriage proposals, keep reading.
<b>The Timing</b><BR>
There doesn't seem to be a system to determine exactly when you're ready to get married. There should be, but there isn't. A staggering number of marriages fail and a great deal of those are because the people involved didn't realize just how serious of a commitment it was. Marriage means shared bank accounts. It means Christmas cards and a mortgage. It means a few kids, a loveable golden retriever called Scout and the pressure of living every waking moment under the care and scrutiny of another person.
There are good times too, but those have to come in between the hard bits, and you have to be sure that your relationship is ready for the tough times. A weak relationship can be destroyed by the stress of the wedding alone, never mind the effort it actually takes to live with someone else forever.
You could ask yourself questions like, how long have you been together? How well do you know each other? Have you ever spent a week together? These are all very helpful, but for my money, I don't think you should even consider a proposal if you haven't been living together successfully for at least half a year. That's the only real litmus test for marriage and you're going to want to be sure before you take that leap.
<b>The Ring</b><BR>
Half of the effort is the equipment you go in with. That means, you're going to need something shiny in your pocket.
The greatest and most successful con game in the history of mankind has been perpetrated by the diamond industry. The price of diamonds is inflated to a point where they no longer have an intrinsic value. They cost what De Beers says they do and there is nothing the world can do to fight against it. At least, that used to be true. Thanks to the miracle of modern science and the many ways that it confounds and outpaces mother nature, diamonds no longer take millennia to form. For a few hundred dollars, you can get a gemstone that would be worth an easy five figures if it weren't crafted in a laboratory. They usually come in a yellow or blue colour, though others, including clear or white, are available.
The technology has been in development for centuries and it's finally come to a head in an affordable, highly complicated format. They are called HPHT, CVT Diamonds or just Cultured Diamonds and they are a perfect substitute. The only way to detect a difference between the synthetic and the natural involves x-rays or some other technical instrument. They are awesome and they cost less than a tenth of what you'll get from nature.
Plus, you can find them on the internet.
<b>Theatrics</b><BR>
The proposal need not be extravagant. You don't need to train a cockatiel to warble out your song. It doesn't have to happen with the aid of a JumboTron at a Knicks game. It is my firm belief that the world at large is done with such showy nonsense. A good, old-fashioned proposal is in order.
Of course, this depends on the nature of your relationship and the disposition of the bride-to-be. If she is someone who appreciates tradition, get down on one knee and say something poetic about the nature of love.
If she is a showy girl who likes production value and Broadway musicals and such, maybe some extravagance isn't a bad idea. If you think she would appreciate having the story to tell (ie. "We were looking over the rails on top of the Eiffel Tower, when suddenly..."), then there's no harm in giving her something to brag about. Maybe one day you can tell your grandkids about how you pulled the ring from behind her ear in the middle of a magic show or something.
Still others are the quiet, dignified type. A walk by the river, a moonlit embrace and a hushed proposition. There are a myriad of possibilities; choose the one that works best for the two of you.
<b>Be Brave</b><BR>
A little bravery goes a long way. This is one of the scariest things that you ever have to do in a relationship. It's right up there with actually asking her out and realizing that you'll have to watch her die one day or vice versa. But it's also one of the most important moments of your life. Treat it with some gravity and hope for the best. Good luck.
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